"LIFE'S TOO SHORT TO EAT BAD NUTS"

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Perching here and gathering my thoughts ...

'Til death us do part?

21 May 2006 ~ 17:31

Someone on a forum recently pondered whether human relationships were really meant to last a lifetime. I responded with my opinion and I thought I'd share it with you.

In my opinion, humans can pair for life but because we live such long lives, people change and priorities change, and human lives are far more complicated than most other animals that pair for life. I think a lucky few meet someone that is so compatible that, yes, they will be together forever. That is what we all strive for. But I don't personally think you should go into a serious relationship with someone (ie marrying, having a civil partnership or having kids) unless you see yourself still together in ten years. Over ten years in the future is too far forward to look I think. But of course the vows have to be about 'forever' because you have to make your expectations as high as you can.

But I don't think a long marriage or relationship that ultimately ends in divorce should necessarily be viewed as a 'failure.' A twenty- year marriage that 'failed' will be counted in the divorce statistics even where the couple are still friends. That's why I think we should take with a pinch of salt statistics like 'forty percent of marriages end in divorce.' I think human beings are programmed to be monogamous but not necessarily for life. We live a long lifespan and our children need nurturing for many years, so we are instincively drawn to remain together for several years in order to raise the kids together. Thus I would view a marriage of twenty years a success rather than a failure even if it ended in divorce if the couple had remained friends and had good times and/or reared nice kids together.

The lowdown is that some animals (squirrels, rats) will take any partner and the males will not take part in rearing the young, while other animals such as eagles will stick together forever and the male helps rear the offspring. Humans I think lie somewhere in between these.


Stored nuts | Future acorns


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